Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Who am I to have this?” Maybe it was when someone complimented you, when a big opportunity landed in your lap, or even when you eyed that cozy, slightly-too-expensive sweater that made you feel like the best version of yourself. If so, you’ve met one of the most sneaky saboteurs of happiness: low deservability.

Deservability is the belief that you are worthy of good things, not because you’ve earned them, not because you’ve checked every box, but simply because you exist. Unfortunately, many of us were raised in environments where love, approval, and success were transactional. We learned that we had to behave, achieve, or please to be “deserving.” Over time, this conditioning seeps into everything, from the way we handle money and relationships to how we speak to ourselves when no one’s listening.

Why we struggle to feel deserving

It often starts early. Maybe you were praised only when you got good grades or kept the peace. Maybe you saw adults around you who worked themselves to exhaustion yet still believed they hadn’t “earned” rest or joy. Somewhere along the line, you might have absorbed the idea that ease and pleasure were privileges reserved for other people—those who were smarter, thinner, richer, or somehow “better.”

This is the tricky part: our subconscious doesn’t argue with these beliefs. If a part of you thinks you’re not meant for abundance or love, it will quietly self-sabotage any attempt to claim them. You’ll procrastinate. You’ll downplay your success. You’ll accept relationships or jobs that drain you because “that’s just how life is.”

But here’s the truth—no one hands out gold stars for suffering. You don’t have to earn your way into worthiness. You already are worthy. The work now is remembering that.

How to strengthen your sense of deservability

1. Start noticing the “I don’t deserve this” moments. When something good happens and your instinct is to shrink, pause. Ask yourself: “Who decided I don’t deserve this?” Usually, the voice that says you don’t is not your true self—it’s a mix of old programming and inherited beliefs. Naming it helps you separate from it.

2. Make peace with receiving. Many people are great at giving but awkward about receiving. Try saying “thank you” when someone offers help or a compliment, without adding, “Oh, it was nothing.” The more comfortable you become with receiving, the more your nervous system learns that it’s safe to have good things.

3. Rehearse feeling worthy. Deservability isn’t built through logic—it’s embodied. Imagine yourself living the life you long for: the meaningful work, the warm home, the supportive people. Let yourself feel that scenario in your body. The more familiar this feeling becomes, the easier it is for your outer life to match it.

4. Release guilt around pleasure. If you were taught that joy is indulgent or irresponsible, start with small acts of rebellion. Take the long route home just because it’s pretty. Buy the fancy coffee. Watch a movie in the middle of the day without “earning” it first. Each moment of unapologetic pleasure rewires your brain to see joy as natural, not forbidden.

5. Practice self-validation. When you do something well, or simply show up for yourself, acknowledge it. Say, “That was kind of amazing of me,” even if it feels silly. External validation feels great, but internal validation builds the solid foundation of self-worth that no one can shake.

Raising your sense of deservability isn’t about turning into an entitled person, it’s about reclaiming your rightful place in the flow of life. You are allowed to have nice things, to be loved, to be comfortable, to thrive. You are allowed to be happy for no reason at all.

So next time you find yourself doubting whether you deserve the good in your life, take a deep breath and remind yourself: You do. And not only that, you always did.

Book recommendation

Check out: The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. It’s a clear, compassionate, and practical book about self-sabotage and emotional healing. Wiest explores how we unconsciously block good things from entering our lives and teaches how to turn those patterns into personal power. It’s modern, relatable, and refreshingly honest.

Today's Video: Open to Receive - 15 Minute Guided Meditation | Great Meditation