From Surviving to Thriving: How to Reclaim Your Life
- Luzia Bowden
- Oct 13
- 6 min read
There are times in life when just making it through the day feels like a victory. Bills, work, relationships, health challenges, grief, uncertainty, sometimes the weight of it all leaves us in a state of survival. We get up, go through the motions, check the boxes, and collapse into bed only to start again tomorrow. Survival mode is not a failure; it’s often a necessary response to hardship. It keeps us afloat when waters are rough.
But staying there indefinitely can drain us of joy, creativity, and connection. Human beings are not meant to merely exist. We are wired to grow, to explore, to love, and to contribute. The difference between surviving and thriving is the difference between being stuck in neutral versus driving forward on a road that excites us.
The good news is: you can move from surviving to thriving. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not about toxic positivity or ignoring pain. It’s about gradually building a foundation that allows you not only to withstand challenges but also to flourish in spite of them.
Let’s explore how to make that shift.
Step 1: Recognize When You’re in Survival Mode
The first step is awareness. Survival mode often feels like:
Exhaustion: No matter how much you sleep, you wake up tired.
Numbness: Life feels flat, joyless, or disconnected.
Overwhelm: Small problems feel like mountains.
Hyper-focus on getting by: Your energy is consumed by “just making it through.”
Survival mode might be triggered by trauma, financial stress, burnout, caregiving responsibilities, or simply a season of “too much.” Recognizing it is not a weakness, it’s an act of honesty. It tells you where you’re starting from and why you need to nurture yourself before expecting big leaps.
Step 2: Create Safety and Stability
You cannot thrive without a sense of safety. Thriving requires energy, and you won’t have that energy if your nervous system is constantly bracing for impact. Safety looks different for everyone, but often includes:
Financial basics: Having enough food, shelter, and security to know you’re not in immediate danger.
Supportive relationships: Even one person who listens without judgment.
Self-regulation: Practices that calm your nervous system, like deep breathing, stretching, walking, journaling.
Think of this as building the soil before planting a garden. Stability doesn’t mean everything is perfect, but it gives you the ground to stand on.
Step 3: Shift from Coping to Healing
When we’re surviving, coping mechanisms are essential: Netflix binges, comfort food, scrolling on our phones, even shutting down emotionally. They help us get through. But they are not the tools of thriving.
Thriving requires us to gradually swap coping for healing. For example:
Instead of numbing emotions, learn to process them. Journaling, therapy, or meditation can help you move feelings through rather than suppress them.
Instead of relying on short-term fixes, cultivate long-term habits. Trade crash diets for sustainable nutrition. Replace frantic sprints of productivity with balanced routines.
Instead of isolation, risk vulnerability. Healing happens in safe connection, not in hiding.
Healing work is uncomfortable at times, but it is where growth begins.
Step 4: Reclaim Your Energy
Energy is the currency of thriving. Without it, everything feels uphill. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life; start with simple shifts that restore vitality:
Rest: True rest, not just collapsing in front of a screen. This could be a nap, a bath, or time in nature.
Movement: Not punishment at the gym, but joyful activity, like dancing, walking or stretching.
Nutrition: Food that fuels rather than depletes.
Boundaries: Saying no to what drains you, yes to what matters.
Think of energy as your inner bank account. Thriving is only possible when you deposit more than you withdraw.
Step 5: Rediscover Purpose
One hallmark of thriving is living with meaning. Surviving often makes us lose sight of why we’re here beyond daily obligations. To rediscover purpose:
Ask, “What lights me up?” Think of moments when you lose track of time or feel deeply alive.
Look for themes. Maybe you’re drawn to helping others, creating beauty, solving problems, or exploring the world.
Experiment. Purpose isn’t always revealed in a lightning bolt. Often, it’s uncovered by trying new things, failing, and adjusting.
Purpose doesn’t have to be a grand mission. It can be found in raising a child, tending a garden, supporting a friend, or creating art. Thriving is less about scale and more about alignment with what feels true to you.
Step 6: Cultivate Resilience and Growth
Thriving doesn’t mean life becomes easy. Challenges will still come. The difference is that thriving equips you with resilience. You stop asking, “How can I avoid all pain?” and instead ask, “How can I grow through this?”
Ways to build resilience:
Reframe struggles. Instead of “This shouldn’t be happening,” ask, “What is this teaching me?”
Practice gratitude. Even in difficulty, find small things to appreciate. This rewires your brain for possibility.
Develop flexibility. Life rarely goes according to plan, thriving means adapting without losing your center.
Step 7: Embrace Joy and Connection
Thriving is not just about working through pain, it’s about fully embracing life’s sweetness. Many people in survival mode forget how to play, laugh, or savour the small things. Thriving means giving yourself permission to enjoy:
Moments of beauty. Sunsets, music, flowers on the table.
Connection. Deep conversations, hugs, shared laughter.
Play. Games, hobbies, silliness.
Joy is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It replenishes your spirit and reminds you why life is worth living.
Step 8: Keep Evolving
Thriving is not a finish line. It’s a practice, a way of living that keeps unfolding. As you grow, new challenges will arise, and new opportunities will call. The difference is that you will face them from a place of strength rather than survival.
Make it a lifelong habit to check in with yourself:
Am I just surviving right now, or am I thriving?
What do I need to shift to get back to thriving?
This self-awareness ensures that you don’t slip back into survival for too long.
A Real-Life Example: From Burnout to Flourishing
Consider Anna, a woman who spent years in a high-stress job. She was constantly exhausted, lived on caffeine, and had no time for relationships or hobbies. When she finally took a leave for burnout, she realized she had been surviving for years. At first, thriving felt impossible. She started small: daily walks, journaling her feelings, eating better. She reached out to a close friend and joined a support group. Slowly, her energy returned.
Over time, Anna discovered a love for painting. It became her source of joy and even led her to a new career teaching art workshops. Today, she feels not only healthier but also deeply connected to her purpose. She still faces challenges, but she meets them from a place of resilience. Anna’s story is proof that thriving is possible, even after long seasons of survival.
Journal Prompts for Moving from Surviving to Thriving
What signs tell me I’ve been in survival mode?
What helps me feel safe and stable?
Which coping habits am I ready to gently replace with healing practices?
Where do I feel most energized, and where am I drained?
What activities or moments make me feel alive and purposeful?
What can I add to my daily routine that sparks joy?
Final Thoughts
The journey from surviving to thriving is not about rejecting the part of you that struggled. Survival mode is what kept you going during hard times; it deserves gratitude, not shame. But it’s not the place you’re meant to stay. Thriving is about reclaiming your energy, reconnecting with your purpose, and opening yourself to joy. It’s about moving from just “getting by” to truly living. You deserve more than survival. You deserve to thrive.
Book Recommendation
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
If you're shifting from just getting through the day to fully engaging with life, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin is a fantastic companion. It’s part memoir, part practical guide, and completely centered on discovering what makes life feel richer, more joyful, and authentically your own.
Rubin spends a year testing out research-backed strategies for happiness — from boosting energy and building better relationships to finding more meaning in everyday moments. Her approach is honest, relatable, and deeply personal. She doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out, but she’s committed to asking the right questions: What actually makes us feel alive? And how do we build more of that into our lives on purpose?
A standout quote:“The days are long, but the years are short.”
This book doesn’t promise instant transformation. What it offers is something more grounded, a thoughtful, joyful path from surviving your life to actually loving it.
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